Lobster Johnson and the Knights of the Moon - R.A. Wonsowski

Splash page - worm's eye view, in the Egyptian tomb of Khonshu.  The high temple walls are covered in hieroglyphics, and standing tall in an enormous recess is the white alabaster statue of the moon god of vengeance, Khonshu, two crossed scepters in his hands, one in the shape of an ankh, the other topped with a crescent moon. Foreground, LOBSTER JOHNSON looks around warily, aware that something is amiss, holding a blazing torch high before him, the flames reflecting in his goggles. Background, descending from the ceiling are three warriors in white scarves covering their heads and faces, shirtless and barefoot in white pants. Each has a scimitar in one hand as they rappel down the walls with the other. The skeletons of Nazi German and Communist Chinese soldiers hang from the walls and ceiling by unseen hooks, spikes, and nooses.

CAPTION: If previous experience has taught me anything, I should expect company in three...two...

TITLE: It's pulp action like you crave... Lobster Johnson in...BY THE KNIGHTS OF THE SILVERY MOON! - by Wonsowski, Sienkiewicz, and other hard-to-spell names!

Lobster Johnson y El Ángel Rojo De Guadalajara Contra La Mafia - Niel Jacoby

Panel 1: Hellboy is in a hotel room in Mexico fiddling with a DVD player, trying to hook it up to the TV. He is consternated and sauced. Bottles of tequila litter the room. We can see that the sun is shining outside.

Caption: MEXICO, DURING HELLBOY'S... LEAVE OF ABSENCE FROM THE BPRD

Hellboy(muttering): fuggin technology... why woncha jes work already. dangit.

Panel 2: It's now night, and Hellboy has roped the concierge or some other hotel staff member into helping him hook up the DVD player. The staff member is leaving, obviously irritated. Hellboy is exhausted, and still sauced.

Hellboy: HEY, UH, THANKS.

Staff: <NO THANKS FOR THE TIP, ASSHOLE.>

Hellboy: UH, SURE, YOU TOO, PAL.

Panel 3: Hellboy settles into the hotel bed with the DVD player remote.

Hellboy: AHHHH, MOVIE TIME.

Panel 4: This panel is the DVD menu screen for the film LOBSTER JOHNSON AND THE RED ANGEL OF GUADALAJARA VERSUS THE MAFIA, featuring 4 options: INCIO, PREPERAR, ESCENAS, and CARACTERÍSTICAS ESPECIALES.

Hellboy(OP): AH SHIT. INCIO SHOULD BE PLAY, RIGHT?

Panel 5: This panel is part of the film LOBSTER JOHNSON AND THE RED ANGEL OF GUADALAJARA VERSUS THE MAFIA, and should be in a Golden Age comics style. Lobster Johnson is in the stands of a lucha libre match, eating popcorn.

Announcer(through speakers): Y AHORA, EL CAMPEÓN DEL MUNDO, EL ÁNGEL ROJO DE GUADALAJARA

Hellboy(off panel): WHERE'S THE AUDIO BUTTON?
SFX: KLK!
Announcer(through speakers): Il est un héros AUX ENFANTS
SFX: KLK!
Announcer(through speakers): И уважаемый член общины!

Panel 6: as above, this is part of the movie. The Red Angel is standing in the ring, a microphone in his hand. We can see Lobster Johnson behind him in the crowd, bashful.
SFX: KLK!

Red Angel: MY FRIENDS, FANS, AND COUNTRYMEN, I STAND BEFORE YOU A PROUD MAN! NOT ONLY AM I IN THE FINEST CITY IN ALL OF MEXICO, MY DEAR FRIEND LOBSTER JOHNSON IS IN THE CROWD TONIGHT! GIVE HIM A ROUND OF APPLAUSE!

SFX: APPLAUSE!

Lobster Johnson - Better Dead Than Red - J.D. Coughlan

Lobster, investigating a high-profile kidnapping, follows a lead to an abandoned warehouse, finding nothing there.

Panel 1: Lobster whips around swiftly at the sound of a voice, poised for attack.

GREEN (O.P.): Apologies for misleading you, Mr. Johnson...

Panel 2: Three men in suits enter the room. The middle one, Agent Green, holds his hands up calmly. Lobster remains guarded.

GREEN: But your government needs your expertise in helping with a matter of national security.

LOBSTER: Who the hell are you?

Panel 3: Close up on Agent Green. He smiles fakely. The other two agents remain stone-faced in the background.

GREEN: Agent Green, FBI.

Panel 4: Wide shot of the room. Lobster relaxes a little, but not much.

GREEN: The House Un-American Activities Committee is dealing with a few difficult individuals who are a threat to our way of life. Someone with your skills would be of great use.

Panel 5: Close on Lobster. He sneers in disgust.

LOBSTER: Forget it. I don't do Uncle Sam's dirty work.

Panel 6: All three agents in panel, drawing their handguns.

GREEN: I think you'll reconsider, Mr. Johnson. Otherwise, you'll start to look pretty red yourself. And red lobsters, well... they're ready to cook.

END OF PAGE

Lobster Johnson – Critical Dissonance – MK Stangeland Jr.

(9 Panels)

Panel 1: Panel shaped like a TV screen. On the screen is a title shot for a fictional children’s TV show, “THE NEW LOBSTER JOHNSON ADVENTURES!”. In addition to the name of the show, the title screen should also have a child-friendly version of LOBSTER JOHNSON in some kind of action-ready pose. Also present should be lobster-like sidekick character, LOBBER. Best reference would probably be the lobster character seen with LOBSTER JOHNSON in the ITTY BITTY HELLBOY miniseries.

HELLBOY: (Off-Panel) Bull$%*^! BULL$%*^!!!

Panel 2: TV screen panel. LOBSTER JOHNSON and LOBBER are in the CLAW CAVE (think ‘Batcave’, but for LOBSTER JOHNSON). LOBSTER JOHNSON is at a SCIENCE(!) table while LOBBER is next to him. On the table is generic SCIENCE(!) stuff.

HELLBOY: (Off-Panel: The words should be positioned as if his complaining is making it impossible to hear what’s on the TV.) Is this a joke? Because I’m not laughing.

Panel 3: The room where the TV is located, with HELLBOY and ABE SAPIAN sitting on a couch in front of the TV. LIZ SHERMAN is sitting in another chair nearby. HELLBOY looks particularly perturbed by what he’s seeing.

ABE: Hellboy, do you mind? I’m trying to watch.

HELLBOY: It’s not worth watching! I know Lobster Johnson, and this is not Lobster Johnson!

Panel 4: ABE and HELLBOY sit up and take notice as LOBSTER JOHNSON speaks up from off-panel.

LOBSTER JOHNSON: (Off-panel) I happen to think it’s hilarious.

TV LOBSTER JOHNSON: To the CLAWMOBILE!

Panel 5: ABE and HELLBOY look to where LOBSTER JOHNSON’s voice was coming from, where the GHOST of LOBSTER JOHNSON is just standing there, looking at them.

TV: (MUSIC NOTES)

Panel 6-9: Series of panels as LOBSTER JOHNSON backs up into and then through the wall, taking advantage of his Ghost form to leave the room as he pleases. The final panel should be just a blank wall, showing that JOHNSON has left the room entirely.

TV: (Off-Panel) LOOK OUT! It’s LOBSTER JOHNSON!

(END PAGE)

Lobster Johnson - The More Things Change - Grant McLaughlin

Late 1950s New York City.  Harry McTell, the last remaining member of the Lobster's crew, has returned from the war (the Korean in this instance) and is looking at the (now derelict) warehouse that used to be the crew's base of operations.

1 - Inside the empty warehouse.  Harry McTell stands alone in the space.  He wears his air force uniform, standing with crutches to support himself (seeing as he lost a leg while overseas).  He wears a pensive expression on his face.

CAPTION (LOBSTER): Nothing.

2 - Flashback to the late 1930s (maybe in a sepia tone to emphasize to emphasize the fact).  Harry stands in the same position, but while he's younger (and with both legs), he looks tired.  He is also not alone, as the Lobster stands next to him, gesturing at the space they stand in.  The warehouse looks to be in the process of being packed up.  It remains relatively empty, with lots of boxes lying around and some bigger objects covered by sheets.

LOBSTER (1): That's all that's left.

LOBSTER (2): We used to fill this place with activity.

LOBSTER (3): With hope.

LOBSTER(4): With life.

3 - Move closer in to our two characters.  They almost seem to be looking past each other, both lost in thought.

LOBSTER: Now it's just ghosts and echoes of what used to be.

4 - The Lobster starts to walk away from Harry.  Harry looks and gestures after him.

HARRY: What are you saying, boss?

LOBSTER: I won't have anyone else dying in my place.

5 - The Lobster keeps walking away, bringing him close to the front of the panel (and taking up a good portion of the space).  Harry stands in the background, slumping his shoulders.

LOBSTER: Goodbye, Harry.

6 - Back to the (1950s) present.  Harry holds a similar position to the previous panel.  While the Lobster is obviously gone, another man stands near Harry.  A realtor, he is a young man, dressed relatively well, holding a clipboard in his hands.  He looks tentatively in Harry's direction.

REALTOR (1): Are you sure you want this property, Mr. McTell?

REALTOR (2): There's nothing here.

HARRY: That's alright...

7 - Close in on Harry.  He looks at the warehouse interior, a smile on his face.  The empty space is filled with ghosted images of various 1950s objects and items, as Harry imagines how the warehouse could look when once set up as a new base of operations.

HARRY: I have a pretty good idea of what could go in its place.

Why Lobster Johnson?

It's all about the name.

I mean, the fact that he's a hard-nosed 1930s pulpy action-adventurer New York City crime fighter with
a bitching costume, a loyal crew, and one hell of a deadly touch doesn't hurt.  Neither does the fact that he's a Mike Mignola creation (which is always a good sign), co-written by the extremely skilled John Arcudi, or drawn by such talented artists as Jason Armstrong, Sebastian Fiumara, and Tonci Jonjic.  And let's not forget the many equally colourful characters he's met while fighting fiendish foes, including mystical robots, ancient spirits, superpowered gangsters, black flamed men, space faring Nazis, and many, many more (without even getting into his numerous affairs in the afterlife).

While firmly entrenched in the pulp idiom, the Lobster is a flexible figure who is able to fit into all manner of genre and story.  So I heartily encourage one and all to try their hand at penning their very own one-page tale of action, derring-do, or whatever else may catch one's fancy.

There is, after all, any number of reasons to be a Lobster Johnson fan.

Although the name is still the best one.